emotional freedom.me

Separating Feelings from Perceptions

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by Sara illig

Stepping into your feelings means looking inward vs looking at the outward world of perceptions. Feelings are the emotions and sensations we experience inside ourselves while perceptions are how we interpret and make sense of the world around us.

Feelings come from within and are our own responses to the events and experiences in our lives. They come with chemical signatures and come from our reactions to memories, conversations, sensory inputs and other external stimuli. Feelings can change as new information and experiences come in.

Perceptions on the other hand, rely on observation and analysis. They come from how we interpret things both in our own minds and in outside sources – and are based on our understanding and beliefs.

Perception often includes discussion of facts and other objective criteria, as well as our own biases and experiences and are filtered through our feelings, which colors and shapes how we interpret the world.

And so, it gets sticky…. there are many filters of emotions we pass through as we interpret what we are feeling when they aren’t actually feelings at all. They are simply interpretations of feelings that could perhaps get reformatted…. shall we say?

For instance some may think that feeling vulnerable is an emotion. It is not. It is an interpretation of a state. Beneath the vulnerability probably lies some fear and anxiety, an absolute internal response to something, but it is not exactly an emotion. Its an interpretation of a state of being, perhaps a reaction to a memory or something of the sort.

Abandoned is another good example, we do not know why another person is not present or responding to us, however we have interpreted their actions based on the filters of our emotions not based on fact. You cannot feel abandoned; you might feel sad and worried about being alone, but you can not feel abandoned, it is an interpretation.

By learning how to separate your emotions from your perceptions, you will gain insight and personal power in your day. You can begin do this by getting present in your body and asking yourself where you feel it when these interpretations come up for you. Try tapping a little and see where that gets you.

And always remember, if you need me…..

Im just a tap away

What About Love…ing You?

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by Sara illig

The latest posts on Facebook all seem to be about finding love, or advice about how to freaking find love. Unfortunately, we do not get a manual with the gift of life and love, but the right tools and skills can help you. 

What greater moment in time than this to simply rest into yourself, to ask yourself what it is that’s blocking you? What is it that you are so uncomfortable to sit with?

You want someone else to love you where you aren’t willing to do it yourself? Come now. What kind of expectation is that to lay on someone?  “I hate myself … so, I want you to love me instead!”

You want love, but are you willing to turn over the stones you stumbled on to wind up on your knees?

You didn’t have the tools you needed before, but it’s safe now to release your blame and regret. Its ok, you’re a student of life and love, there are still tools out there to help you learn.

You’re here right now, and you’re looking and that means you’ve got someplace to go! The unwinding of the rest is just a loving process.

Some people say it takes 10,000 hours to do something well, but I say you can learn some tools to master yourself in minutes, and spending just a few minutes a day utilizing those tools, speeds things up, um… considerably! It’s really a matter of consistency and intention, but you can rewire your brain into more permanently blissful states of consciousness.

EFT (tapping) is one of those self-mastery tools that is easy to learn, that is excellent for deeper self-exploration, understanding and self-love. It can help you rebalance your energy system, reduce your cortisol, rewire your brain, bring it back online and reduce your stress levels tremendously.

Yes, it can do all that. 

So, dear friend, I invite you to sit with me, sitting with you….to figure this one out. It’s called you. It’s called love. And you’re worth it. 

Why Use EMDR?

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Eyemovement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) is a fascinating tool that can help process traumatic sensory aspects of an event, ( i.e. sounds, sights, thoughts, and feelings) using a simple series of lateral eye movements.

In the 1990’s an American psychologist Francine Shapiro noticed that when the body is asked to perform a repetitive task such as tapping from left to right on your chest or moving your eyes laterally from left to right, you tend to enter a trance state, allowing a past event to loosen its grip giving way to a new interpretive state. This can be particularly useful for PTSD, anxiety and those suffering from intrusive thoughts and other disorders.

But why are we suffering from anxiety, PTSD and the like? One simple answer: neuroplasticity. What fires together wires together. So, a repetitive thought or a memorable event is literally wired into the brain and likely on repeat, playing on and on in the background.

“We need neuroplasticity that is focused on unlearning…” Says Stanford Neuroscientist, Dr. Andrew Huberman. [The effective therapies help you to bring yourself into a heightened state of alertness, focus your attention on the traumatic or negative event and pair it with something new.] Just moving your eyes laterally, from side to side while focusing on the event can begin the re-wiring process.

How can it be that something so simple as moving the eyes can help rewire the brain? While Neuroscientists do not know why eye movement seems to help, it is of interest that all the other organs in the system are linked through intermediary neural networks, while the eyes are the only organs with a direct link to the brain. They are the only organs that continue processing information during sleep through REM. And are the only organs that have fascinated scientists for years in their ability to help people process traumatic events through movement.

The Power and Beauty of Devastation

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What is devastation? That feeling of uhhhgg! The feeling that I just can’t face today. I just can’t deal with life. I am alone in this. No one else feels this way. Everyone on Instagram and Facebook has a better life than me.  There is no direction, sense of purpose. It turns to apathy; staying in a comfort zone. A preference for comfort over change. It turns into a real force of stagnation and eventual misery. Many use distraction as a method of coping with devastation. It is easy to get involved with superficial things and watch life go by, thereby avoiding the depth of existence.

Indulging the hurt of being alive makes us fall prey to the belief the other people don’t feel as destroyed and devastated inside as we do. We compare ourselves to others and destroy ourselves internally to an even greater degree.  Leading to depression. 

If you are not willing to be destroyed, then you are not up to the creative nature of life…. If you can feel devastation you are still alive. When you allow devastation, you are allowing the next moment to be born after it. Allow yourself to feel so you can be authentic with others. 

Why can’t we shake it? Because we are human. 

Devastation, desperation, failure and similar qualities are going to happen. Its a part of nature, Its going to continue to happen. Get used to it.  In fact, sink into it. No better motivator!

We will feel these conditions or similar human conditions until the day we die. Like death, devastation and the like are necessary qualities of life. The trick is overcoming the friction of these qualities to allow room for creation and growth.

If we can learn how to ride it, we can utilize the creative power behind it. This is how we create from passion. So stop thinking you need to avoid the internal state of devastation, let it be a force of reaching. When you are able to open to it, allow yourself to really feel it, the depth and  truth of the moment is there…waiting to create something new.

EFT FAQ- Before you try it…

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Are Emotional Freedom Techniques Safe?

EFT are natural, non-invasive, chemical free and self paced techniques. The body’s built-in, natural healing system works to self-correct and create balance in your body and psyche. Some people may experience uncomfortable sensations while processing and/ or discharging accumulated emotional energy. This is a transitional temporary discomfort and with continued tapping it usually diminishes quickly.

What am I’m feeling in my body?

There is a wide range of physical sensations people experience when discharging accumulated stress or tension. Your experience is individual and you may experience some, all or none of these things: tingling, itching, belching, crying, laughing.. you may feel sleepy or waves of energy moving through your body. This is a very natural occurrence and a healthy response as the body and your system re calibrates. Keep breathing and tapping and that strange sensation will dissipate.

If you are NOT experiencing any of these things, that does not mean EFT isnt working. It means the brain may be processing differently and a shift could be as subtle as a shift in perception of your issue. Each session will bring a different experience.

If you start feeling overwhelmed, slow down and BREATHE. Stay present with the sensation in your body and KEEP TAPPING. It is not necessary to keep saying words in this state. Just tap and breathe until the sensation subsides. You may even try tapping while saying something like “I accept this is how I feel right now.”

What do I do if I begin to remember things I had previously blocked out?

It is not uncommon to gain access to forgotten incidents. Continue to Tap and breathe and stay in a place of compassion toward yourself. Try to slow down and tap through the memory one step at a time. Stating out loud what you are remembering while you continue tapping will help you pass through the experience. It can be useful to get a private session with an EFT practitioner for trouble spots and devote and entire session to that specifc incident.

What if I don’t get all the way through my original issue during the Group Circle?

You have 4 options, depending on your level of intensity: 1.Bring it back to the Circle next week and keep going. 2.Schedule a private EFT session with a practitioner. 3.Work on it by Tapping on your own.

What if another, deeper issue comes up during my Tapping?

This is a common occurrence that the root, or core issue will come up while tapping on a more recent incident. Continue tapping and sift your focus to the core issue.